So my dog has a MASSIVE tumor on his back, left side. He doesn’t really seem to be too affected by it, though. My parents say that once they notice him suffering, we’re gonna put him down. Well, I saw him suffer. It was the for the briefest moment. I got up to smoke a cigarette and he was walking up the stairs with me and his was limping really bad. He was babying his left back leg. I was about to help him when we reached the landing, and his leg gave out entirely and he just collapsed. Needless to say, I threw all my stuff on the counter and ran over to him. He just got up and walked away. I started bawling and went out to smoke. About a minute later, he came outside and was running around like nothing ever happened. I don’t know if I should tell my parents. It seems like it might’ve been a false alarm, and what if it was and they overreact and put him down? Then again, what if it wasn’t and I’d be prolonging his suffering by not saying anything? This sucks so much. He’s only 10. He shouldn’t be dying so soon :’(
FUCK CANCER.

A fucking spider just came down from the ceiling in my room. It hit the ground and I lost it. Freaking the fuck out.
My boyfriend just gave me a hard time about coming over to kill it. So I’m pretty much fucked.
I can’t sleep in the same room as a spider. I can’t kill them myself. I can’t get to my bed because I’m literally terrified to step on the floor. I’m on my futon, which is where it looks like I’m staying all night. But I won’t be sleeping because I’m terrified of it crawling up.
All I want right now is a cigarette. But I can’t move.

I met CM Punk. He had to pee, but I got to meet him before he took his bathroom break. He was very nice. Then I went to the Photo Op for him. As ridiculous as this is gonna sound, right before I walked up, I guess he was looking at my shirt (which was Captain America) or my jacket or whatever, but if I hadn’t known better, I would say it looked like he was checking me out haha. Oh and when we were waiting on line for it, Stan Lee walked by, and so did Norman Reedus, Hayden Panettiere, Chris Hemsworth, and Sean Patrick Flanery said excuse me to me and I didn’t realize it was him until he was past. After all that, I met back up with my boyfriend and his friend, and we went out for a cigarette. Best cigarette break EVER. First, David Della Rocco came out and we talked to him until he finished his cigarette and went back inside. Then Norman Reedus came out and we talked him for a little bit. Then Sean Patrick Flanery came out. Also talked to him. I told them all that The Boondock Saints is on my nametag at work. They were the coolest dudes. Then SIR PATRICK MOTHERFUCKING STEWART walked outside. After being completely dumbfounded for a few seconds, my boyfriend walked over to him and basically fangirled. I gotta admit though, he had some balls to go up to him. Then CM Punk walked out with an entourage because they’re filming something. Then the greatest fucking thing happened. Stan Lee came out to sit down and wait to get picked up. Security wouldn’t let anyone near him. But when we were walking back inside, we passed him and my boyfriend was like, “Thank you for existing!” And I was like, “Yeah you’re awesome!” He laughed and waved to us. I started to cry when we were back inside. I’m now broke as hell, but this was honestly the greatest day of my life

A day full of comics and CM Punk. Who could ask for more?

I was doubled over, writhing in pain last night. It was out of nowhere, and my stomach felt like someone had a potato peeler on the inside and was peeling away at my body. Yeah, little graphic, sorry. Anywho, I went to the emergency room, where I spent four hours for them to tell me the blood tests came back fine. The pain was subsiding, significantly, after they hooked me up to an IV to put fluids in my system. I find that odd, though. I know I wasn’t dehydrated. Anywho. At about 5:30-ish, they told me they wanted me to stay so that they could do a CAT scan, and when I asked how long that would take and they told me three hours (which in their time means five), I told them I wanted to leave because I had work. They let me check out, but I had to sign a waiver because it was against the doctor’s wishes. She tried everything she could to get me to stay, but I was so exhausted and I knew I couldn’t call out of work, so here I am, in my room, a half hour before my shift.

What really pisses me off about this is I’m so under-appreciated at my job that even this would be meaningless to my managers. I’ve been there a year, never called out, show up every shift (except for the few times I overslept), do my job. Yet, I’ve had issues with people there, so basically everyone thinks I’m a complete and total bitch, and no one gives any sort of positive feedback even though there are times that I’m working my ass off, doing the jobs of two people, not just myself. I basically had a manager laugh in my face when I mentioned a desire to move up to a supervisor.

Not to mention, it’s raining here at the good ol’ Jersey Shore, so if any Bennys decided to spend Memorial Day WEEK down here, guess where they’re gonna end up! I just don’t have the heart to bail out on them, despite the impending doom the doctor basically said I had. Blah. I just don’t know how to handle this shit anymore.

It’s already 11am.
I tried for hours but I seriously suck at sleeping.
And now my mom is trying to force me to go do something out of the house now that I’m back in bed.
She tells me to “stay local.”
“Stay local.” There’s about a million and one reasons as to why that’s a horrible fucking idea, but the two really important ones are:

• I have NO fucking friends around here! Seriously. None.
• I guess you could more or less consider my town part of the ‘Jersey Shore.’ It’s Memorial Day weekend. No.

AKA Fozzy is going on tour soon for Uproar

(Source: thewomanwithoutfear)

That’s usually my cue to go to sleep…

Goodnight

…for a sleepy Neefy